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BtM: Introduction by *NexusYuber:iconNexusYuber:



Beyond the Mist

Introduction: Notes to the Reader


To whom it will... probably concern,

       My name is Vincent Nathaniel Toprey. By way of age I'm twenty two, although the passage of days, let alone weeks is pretty difficult for me in my current, humble abode; prison. You'll get to all the how's and why's of that later. I have plenty of time to tell my story and getting the details just right has always been one of my few marketable skills, so bear with me here.

       What you'll  find on the forthcoming pages is nothing short of the absolute truth as I intend the world to know. Orkora is in terrible danger, and the nobles that swear to keep our interests at heart are condemning us to death out of fear and ignorance. They believe that the story I'm about to put to paper is a lie, meant to destroy our society and crumble the hierarchy into ashes. In their idiotic fashion they've managed to overlook me long enough for me to grab enough of the wooden gold to write the whole thing down, and I have an idea of how to get it out of this place and into the streets. Preferably before we all die a horrific death.

       If you haven't stopped reading by this point, then there's hope in you yet. I pray that you'll just keep on reading and spread my story, or drop it on the ground for someone else to pick up. Even if you think I'm insane, which I assure you I'm probably not, this might make for a good read, so go right on ahead. Your interest is vital if our world is to survive.

       This is the story. . .
              of what lies beyond the mist.
©2009 *NexusYuber
:iconnexusyuber:

Author's Comments

I'm updating and restarting this story with the intent of making it full and complete. I've always had it planned out to the letter, and forgetting it seems a waste. So please enjoy and welcome to the world of Beyond the Mist.

Comments and critiques are appreciated. Keep in mind that it begins as a letter to the reader from the main character, then proceeds as a first-person recollection-style story.

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Next Page: [link]

Critiques


:iconstar-blazer:
It was a short prologue-- but certainly a powerful one. I can tell you from after the first paragraph, I was hooked. You have a wonderful diction, and I believe it definitely keeps the reader interested.
I also like how this is written as an epistolary novel-- it will allow the reader to feel more acquainted with the main character as the story progresses.
There were some lines which definitely stuck out to me as I read, especially in the forth paragraph when the persona says "I pray that you'll just keep on reading and spread my story, or drop it on the ground for someone else to pick up." I just liked the phrasing-- perhaps used before-- but I think it's suiting.
Now, about the last little blurb-- what a way to send chills down the reader's spine! Now you've got me hooked completely. What a great way to make the reader want to know what's going to happen! You definitely ended the prologue well :D

For a very short prologue, I'd say that it was still very well written. I'll be looking forward to reading your next installments!
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

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Comments


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:iconlatenightlady:
I like this - I am a person who picks up a book and reads the first page. if the first page doesn't grab me - I don't bother buying it.

This grabs me and I would have kept reading :)

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Critique-It ~ Honest, constructive criticism for the serious author.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. *Psalm 62:7
:iconnexusyuber:
Thanks a bunch for your kind words, and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read.

I'm new to writing in the first-person, so it was a bit of a challenge for me to make this whole thing work, but I'm hoping this story gets somewhere. :D

--
Beyond the Mist: [link]

Shameless self-promotion is the cornerstone of humanity.
:iconliquid-etherealism:
I agree with Lady :D.

For being a newbie at first-person, this was written really well.

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Good Reads!

Intimate Journey: Battle Scars

*RenderWonderland=speculative lit!
:iconnexusyuber:
Why thank ye kindly.

I'm actually new to the writing thing in general. I'm a musician, not a writer. I do hope to get this thing flying though, and maybe experiment with the first-person style on the way.

--
Beyond the Mist: [link]

Shameless self-promotion is the cornerstone of humanity.
:iconnanner182:
sehr interessant!

--
John 3:16
:iconnexusyuber:
Aroo?

--
Beyond the Mist: [link]

Shameless self-promotion is the cornerstone of humanity.
:iconnanner182:
lol XD "very interesting". i like your writing style. its very developed

--
John 3:16
:iconstef-o-chan:
oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy. :eager:
i most certainly won't drop this message on the ground for someone to pick up and read. i must read on to find out why everyone's gonna croak!
awesome introduction, sir. AWESOME.

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